


If the mind fits, shrink it (EUPHORIA ♡ RULES AU)

by angelic_daydreams



Category: Euphoria (TV 2019), Euphoria - Fandom, Hunter Schafer - Fandom, Zendaya (Musician), Zendaya - Fandom
Genre: Euphoria, F/F, Lesbian Character, Lesbians, Mental Health Issues, Mental Illness, Psych Ward, Rules, girlxgirl
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-17 03:34:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28593321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelic_daydreams/pseuds/angelic_daydreams
Summary: Rue is a somewhat troubled girl, according to the doctors. Between the cold walls of a psych ward, she meets a girl with the warmest smile.
Relationships: Cassie Howard/Maddy Perez, Nate Jacobs/Maddy Perez, Rue Bennett & Jules Vaughn, Rue Bennett/Jules Vaughn
Comments: 10
Kudos: 25





	1. Introduction

**Author's Note:**

> I know this won't get any views, but if someone out there reads this, I hope you enjoy the first chapter!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is just the characters lol

✧ ೃ༄*ੈ✩ 

Rue Bennet

Jules Vaughn 

Maddy Perez

Cassie Howard

Fezco 

Kat Hernandez

Nate Jacobs


	2. Greetings and Salutations

I make my way to my room. Its walls are a pale yellow, its wooden floor creaking beneath me as I step inside. It isn't creepy per se, there are some faux lilies in the small table in between the beds. One of them has a pink bunny laying in its pillow, its deflated legs spread and an eye has been sawed into a cross.

\- So that's basically it. - The nurse says, after having explained the basic rules of the ward. I didn't listen, naturally, I was too busy focusing on not running away like a terrified little rabbit about to be killed by its prey. I don't know where I would go, anyways. It's not like I can go cuddle up at home.

I sigh, managing a small smile at the nurse. She closes the door, leaving me to sort myself out. I lay down on the bed, defeated. I hear a tiny noise beside me and I sigh, more bitterly than afraid. If these assholes aren't leaving me alone for the first 10 minutes while I'm here, then it's gonna be a wild ride. Its not them though, unless they can fucking materialise now, because I feel my hair being pulled and I jump. As my heart threatens to fall out of my body, a small figure crawls out of the bottom of the bed.

\- What the fuck! - I yelp, and she laughs. The first time I heard that laugh, sweet and mischievous and compelling. But at that moment, it was just irritating and annoying, since my scalp hurt and my heart hadn't calmed down yet. She mock-gasps.  
\- My, my, the first time I meet my new roomie and she's already cussing? I snicker in disbelief.

\- Yeah, I would love for us to be trauma buddies and to share dopamin, but it was you who scared me to death and yanked my hair, roomie.  
She heads towards the door and leans back coolly, crossing her arms and looking at me like she has something to figure out.  
\- Yeah well, I guess that's my welcoming for you. Want something more enthusiastic? Welcome buddy! - She waves frantically - Or perhaps you're more of the polite type? Greetings and salutations! - She exclaims with a bow. She looks up at me and my annoyed face and looks disappointed. - You're telling me you haven't seen that movie? Man, sucks for you.

I sigh and lay back down on my bed, already exhausted. She looks at me with that mischievous smile and I pretend to close my eyes. She clears her throat and approaches me slowly.

\- Okay, I got it. You prefer a more... how do you say it, friendly welcome. - She suddenly crawls into my bed and bites her lip in a seductive manner. We lock eyes for a second until I push her out of the bed quickly. I almost forgot my rule.  
\- Get the fuck off me you weirdo.  
She smiles at me from the floor. It's almost weird how much she smiles. We're in a psych ward for fucks sake.  
\- Pleasure to meet you Rue. I'm Jules.


	3. The breakfast club

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dinner time at the psych ward. Rue meets the other patients, which are.. interesting, if you will.

There is a loud knock on the door. Dinner. The girl- Jules, I guess- releases a heavy sigh and gets up from her bed. She still has that stupid grin on her face. I'll figure her out. I always do. 

\- Aren't you coming sweet face? - I look at her. Her long blonde hair, which fades into a pinkish color, her skinny figure covered by a long, purple shirt and a short skirt, her smugness. I don't need anyone's pity. But that's the thing. I don't think she pities me. She's way past pity. And anyways, it could help to have someone I recognise while I get to know everyone. Sure, she might be a sadistic little shit who pulled my hair as a way to "greet" me in this cage, but I have no idea what I'll found out there. Shit, I think I've been staring at her for too long. She's waiting for the answer. I nod and follow her towards the cafeteria. 

People are coming out of their rooms, loudly and somehow either too fast or too slow. I walk past them and get some looks. I start feeling some anxiety so I pull my hoodie up and keep looking down. Jules, however, keeps her head up and walks fast, almost as she were sprinting around. Almost as if this was a trip to some amusement park as a little kid. 

The cafeteria is small and tidy. There are large tables across the room and nurses expecting us to sit down quietly. Though I know they don't believe that's how it's gonna be. 

\- Who the fuck took my salt? Huh? Was it you junkie? - A tall guy with a menacing look yells, directing the last bit to a scrawny guy who just looks defeated. The nurses go hold him back as he tries to get to the other guy in a not so innocent looking way. I guess this isn't the first time they had to do this, because they too have that defeated look, and they do this almost mechanically. 

\- Ah, home. Come on, let's sit over there with the other nutsos. - Jules leads me to a table where the so called "junkie" sits, along with two girls who look troubled. Isn't that a stupid statement anyways? I don't think they'd be here otherwise. 

I sit reluctantly and Jules introduces me to all of our company. 

\- So, listen up. My sweet junkie over here, that's Fez, the basket case. Cassie, our princess. Kat, the brain, and that psycho over there who caused a fuss is our athlete. I guess that makes you our pretty little criminal. - She smiles proudly, and Fez chuckles as Cassie and Kat roll their eyes. - Huh, not an 80s movie fan, got it. - She grabs a big chunk of bread and stuffs her mouth with it.

\- I swear to god Jules, you will scare everyone away with those shitty movie references.- The blonde, Cassie, laughs to herself. I notice she doesn't eat anything from her plate. Maybe she's not hungry today? She's wearing a big sweater and looks at my half-eaten spaghetti almost bitterly. 

\- Yo, we need to tell Maddy over there to calm her boyfriend down. One of this days I will get out of here with an eye out, for real. - Fez says under his breath. 

\- Yeah sure, cause Mad Maddy will listen to anything you say. Those are two psychos in love. 

\- I like Maddy. She smells like flowers. - Cassie confesses, shrugging.

\- Doubt it, with the soap they give us here, the only thing she can smell like is rotten flowers. - Kat says, and Jules laughs loudly, high-fiving her as Fez shakes his head smiling and Cassie rolls her eyes once again. I guess that's something she does. I tune out of the conversation, getting trapped in my own thoughts once again. What are this people hiding? Everyone hides something. I'll figure it out, I always do. But right now, nurses announce dinner is over and some patients go to the TV room to watch a movie. They're playing "The wizard of Oz". 

Jules looks at me and sighs. 

\- I wish I could be Dorothy. Tap my sparkly shoes three times and say "adios, assholes" to everyone in here. 

I don't think that's what I want. I guess I want to be Toto, a careless dog who only sleeps and eats and shits like it's the only thing that matters. He found his purpose. He doesn't need to wake up and acknowledge everything he saw was an illusion of his own mind. He doesn't need to be called crazy. 

\- Well, time to tap our boring unlaced shoes and go back to our room. Get our beauty sleep or whatever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My chapters are so short I'm sorry. If anyone is reading the story and somehow likes it, tell me your thoughts!


	4. Toto i've a feeling we're not in kansas anymore

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rue wakes up in the middle of the night with some troubling thoughts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so glad some people are reading this. It means a lot, even though you're just a few <3

Sleeping in a psych ward is not the easiest, apparently. I'm wrapped in my cold sheets in a bed that feels so unfamiliar, and my head is spinning. Why am I here? I am supposed to be at home, continuing my research. They took my notebook for inspection. Are they going to read it? Is someone gonna spoil my plan? I have to get there. I can't afford to lose everything I've worked on. The doctors, did they know? Am I being watched right now? That's why they locked me up in here. I'm not crazy, I'm a fucking target. 

I suddenly start breathing heavily and my heart is beating fast. This can't be happening. I can't go like this. Or even worse, I can't stay alive in here, waiting for my even worst doom. I stand up, suddenly I feel very hot and sweaty. I start pacing around the room, searching for an alternative in my brain. Maybe I can escape. There have to be windows here. Maybe I can-

\- Hey nutso, what are you doing walking in circles like a weirdo?

It's Jules. Maybe she's in on all of this. Did she read my notes? Can she read my mind? Fuck, I feel like I'm being watched. I walk backwards until I'm against the door. Jules narrows her eyes and stands up. I look at her with wide eyes. Is she gonna kill me? Did they put her in here so she could end me and frame it as a crazy person's suicide? Maybe that's why she smiles so much. She knew we would end up like this. She's walking towards me now, you need to help me. You are here watching this, aren't you? She's got this concerned looking eyes and her face softens.

\- Rue, what's going on? You need to breath, okay? Can you do that for me? - I take big breaths. I still don't trust her. But maybe I can get her to change her mind. Maybe I can convince her not to kill me. She's got to have some compassion on her.

\- You don't have to do this. I- I can help you. We can help each other. Maybe we can get out of here together. Just please, don't do anything to me. 

\- Rue, what are you talking about? You're scaring me. 

She's pretending to not know. Fuck, I'm in too deep. This is bad, this is really bad. I can feel tears in my eyes now. I don't know what to do. I'm trapped. Jules has her eyes fixated on mine. I think she's got tears in her eyes as well. She slowly gets closer, and I think this will be it. Until, she wraps her arms on my small body and tightens her grip. 

\- You're gonna be alright, okay? No one's here to harm you. You're okay. 

I finally hug her back. It feels.. good. She smells good and her softness calms me. It feels like being safe, being home. My heart starts to slow down and though I realise I am crying, I don't think it's from fear or sadness. I just think I haven't been hugged in a long time. She unwraps her arms from me, but keeps her eyes locked on mine and we're still really close. She parts her lips and looks at me like she wants to close the gap between us. And when she starts leaning in and I close my eyes, the door bursts open.

\- Checks! - We quickly move away from each other. - Girls, what are you doing up? It's four in the morning, you should be asleep in your beds. Come on, move it please.

We both go back to our beds without saying a word. The nurse comes back minutes later and hands me two blue pills and indicates with her head to take them. I do, and some minutes later, my head feels heavy and my eyes are fighting to keep themselves open. I fall asleep with the image of the nurse staring at me.


	5. Just when you think it can't get any worse, you run out of cigarettes.

It's raining outside and I'm in my bed listening to the drops fall and the cars pass by. I kind of envy them for moving forward, not being stuck. I do think we're all stuck in a way. We get up, drink the same old coffee you found on your local market, get to work or school, have your same old order at a Starbucks or whatever, get back home and go to sleep, which as a matter of fact I am positive it's everyone's highlight of the day. Although I always wished on breaking my routine, I kind of didn't mean to be institutionalised. Be careful what you wish for, I guess. 

Jules and I haven't spoken at all today. We just got up at seven, went in line to take whatever medicine the nurses drug us with, and got dressed. She's got this cute shirt with some white flowers over it, and a plaid skirt that completes the whole outfit. She looks like a fairy. Of course, there's always an angel and a ridicule. I sit here, in a group full of strangers, dressed with my usual red hoodie and my black, skeleton shirt. 

\- Rue? 

I look up. It's the therapist, looking at me expectantly. Right, group therapy. I have to say something. What did he ask me? The whole group is staring at me in silence.

\- Your...feelings today? 

Oh, so that's what he asked me. What am I supposed to answer? I'm stuck in a building that might as well be called a prison, surrounded by crazy people, sober. I've traumatised my sister by almost dropping dead in front of her, and my mom is sure as hell gonna disown me soon. I have important plans to get to only I can't get my notebook back and get out of here to continue what I started. I'm fucking delighted, thanks for asking.

\- Oh... well um, fine? 

\- What do we say fine stands for? Guys?

\- Feelings inside not expressed. - Everyone says in a monotone voice. Maddy and Nate are looking at me impatiently, and Kat, Cassie and Fez look at me almost as if they feel sorry for me. Jules isn't even looking at me. For once, she doesn't have her stupid smirk on.

\- Right! So, Rue, what is a more appropriate way to express your feelings? 

I look down and try to think of an answer but for some reason there are tears in my eyes and I stutter. 

\- I-I- you what weirdo? - Maddy says mockingly. Everyone starts talking on top of each other and the therapist tries to calm them down. Maddy rolls her eyes and stands up abruptly. - You're all fucking delusional! How is she doing? Is that a fucking joke? She's in a psych ward for fucks sake. There is no reason not to be absolutely miserable in a place like this. Ask her what ice cream is her favourite, even that would be a more appropriate question, you jerk.

The therapist looks at her disappointedly, and Maddy sits back down, calmly, crossing her arms defiantly. I mean shit, I don't disagree with her at all. She looks at me in a stern but kind of understanding way. I smile to myself.

...

After a discouraging group therapy session, we get a smoking break. I don't really smoke, but I like watching people, so I head to the small garden. There are flowers and trees and even some tables that look antique. Maybe this is somewhere I'd actually like to be, in the case that, you know, I wasn't stuck with nurses watching my every move and crazy people yelling over who stole someone's cookie, even though we aren't even allowed to have our own food here. I stand, disoriented, since I see no available seat, at least not one where I can be alone and observe quietly. Just as I'm about to move and give up, I see Fez calling me over. I look back to see if he was calling over somebody else, but sure enough it was empty. I walk over there and pull my hoodie up, getting nervous about what to say to someone who as much as I know, could be a psycho. Then again, he could think the same of me. But I'm not crazy. You know that, right? 

\- Hey man. 

\- Hey. By the way, I didn't steal your cookie.

He laughs and smoke comes out my way. I try my best not to wrinkle my nose.

\- Yeah, I'm sure you didn't. 

\- Can I ask you something? - He looks at me and nods. I don't know why, but I feel like I can talk to him. He just radiates this homey and comfortable energy. - Why would someone like you... be in a place like this? - He laughs again, but a bit more bitterly and uncomfortable. - I- I mean, everybody here seems at least a little bit crazy, you know? 

He takes a long drag of his cigarette and exhales, looking ahead. I'm afraid I've offended him somehow but then he smiles softly.

\- I know this is gonna sound like some weird ass quote from Jules's movie list, but look. We are all a bit crazy. Some hide it, some can't, some choose not to. Some are fucking tired of pretending. And I'm sure you feel like you "don't belong" here 'cause you're normal or whatever. But remember this Jules. You're here for a reason. Whether you be crazy or not, doesn't really matter. 

His voice is soft and calming, and it ignites a soothing feeling in me. But my eyes get teary for the second time today and I can't cry here.

\- Don't get soft on me, Fez. - But he sees my tears and gives me a soothing smile.

\- I'm too sober for this shit man. - He says and throws his cigarette into a plant next to us. The nurses give him a stern look and he goes to pick it up. My heart drops a little. I guess we've got something in common. We're both too sober for this. For life. God, what I would give for the sudden rush of adrenaline and euphoria that comes from drugs. To feel happy again. To see the world with different eyes, ones that make you feel like life is worth it. To cry tears of glitter, and have smiles made out of sunshine. I realise I'm looking down, smiling melancholically, when a familiar soft voice calls my name.

\- Rue? You there? - She takes Fez's seat, looking for a cigarette in her yellowish camel box. - Fuck. Just when you think it can't get any worse, you run out of cigarettes. - She looks at me, smirking. Another movie reference, I think. Then she leans back and sighs, closing her eyes like she's about to say something that hurts.

\- Hey Rue, about last night-

\- Stop. I don't want to talk about it, okay? Just leave me alone.

She sighs once again, thinking. Then her face relaxes and she puts her head on my shoulder. 

\- You're gonna be okay. You know that, right?

And I'm not sure about that statement, but right now, with Jules's warm presence and weight on me, I think I can be okay for a while.


End file.
